Granny's banquet

The late Ray Bradbury’s Dandelion wine is a delightful reminiscence of his childhood in rural Illinois in the summer of 1928, thinly disguised as a novel.  My favorite episode involved Grandmother’s chaotic but irresistible cooking.  “Nobody knows what Grandma cooks until we sit at table,” says Grandpa.  Aunt Rose, who is visiting, decides to organize Grandma’s kitchen and to give her a cookbook.  Her cooking promptly goes flat, and the boarders retire early from dinner to go back to their separate rooms and brood. 

So Grandpa takes matters into hand.  “Strolling back under the warm summer elms to the house, Aunt Rose suddenly gasped and put her hand to her throat. 

“There, on the bottom of the porch step, was her luggage, neatly packed.  On top of one suitcase, fluttering in the summer breeze, was a pink railroad ticket. 

“The boarders, all ten of them, were seated on the porch stiffly.  Grandfather, like a train conductor, a mayor, a good friend, came down the steps solemnly.

“ ‘Rose,’ he said to her, taking her hand and shaking it up and down, ‘I have something to say to you.’

“ ‘What is it?’ said Aunt Rose.

“ ‘Aunt Rose,’ he said.  ‘Goodbye.’”

The cooking improves.  --Plautus